I didn't know the cause of his illness. Only the struggles that it caused. Frequent awakenings at 2 in the morning, the stench of the hospital within a home, excess mucus and sometimes blood on the bathroom counter, and worst of all the painfully slow decay of a jovial personality to one racked with rudeness and merciless bitterness. It wasn't our fault (we all knew that) but somehow, when I would sit down to a slightly overcooked meal or excape to a movie at the local cinema, there would be that slightly audible loudspeaker in the back of my mind, feeble and yet strong, bellowing to keep me home.