I Need Back...to School

Yo. I'm Professor Kat Donaldson, D.O., M.O., H.O.M.O., and referee. I have been the advisor for Hash Paddle for many weeks now, and
I must say he is a very gifted student. Not only does he portray a young man very interested in the improvement of society (in his research
towards a cure for cancer), he seems to have an affinity with the forensic chemical treatment tank that I have never seen in any other person,
except for perhaps myself.

If any of you see Hash, please grab him and tell him how much he has benefitted my life, both professionally and...err...personally. Thank you for your time.
I must get back to my...er...work. Donaldson out. -beep-