If I had three hundred dollars, I would most definitely spend that effortless cash on a new gold enhanced shoelace. Now, I know what you're thinking...why not gold rims, or a gold necklace? Well, let me tell you, gold shoelaces are rare. So rare, that no one except for the filthy rich and/or the mentally insane would ever even consider getting them. Therefore, the cool factor goes up 5 points automatically for "originality". Beat that foo. So hard, right now, tonight, in the faint light.

The gold shoelaces make any shoe shine like a million dollar bill, with benjamins dancin' around in a congo line waitin' for washington's cherry tree pies to come outta abraham lincoln's log oven. Fire is a hazard, but not to you. Gold can make fire stop and stare for a milisecond, and then continue on it's merry way, consuming mainly dead matter and a little bit of the living, but don't worry, you have a 1% chance of surviving, so it's all good.

The thugz in yo hood are gonna be trippin' when they see your golden laces. Do they got that ghetto fabulous look, complete with shoelace shoe source effects? Heck, no. They got they're plain nikes or addidas shiznitas, cloudin' up the hallways of yo' school like buffalo dung in an airport. Only the gold can stay, and you got that, foo. Play it fo' real, or shizzle on outa dere. Ye, all us thugz gotta representa da 24karota shizzata. And you got it now, emblazoned in your pumpin' sneakas, dawg.