"If a man makes a mistake in the forest, and there is no woman to see it, is he still wrong?"

Kirk ponders for a moment. "If a man makes a mistake in the forest, and there is no woman to see it, is he still wrong?"

Hmm. I just don't know. Move.

Is this your family?

Wang tsung fah sai "hare putter".

Zhongguo Shangye Shi

I found it, John.

And what were you doing?

Artist's rendition of a police officer and his "black" stick.

"I told Sapp to lay on the ground, but he refused. He then proceeded to make fun of my glasses. I had no other choice."

Flea Fly, Flea Fly Mosquito.

Kill the black bug with the bug bomb ::pshh::

Itty bitty buggy buggy ooh it wants to suck my bloody.


Itchy itchty scratchy scratchy ohh I got one on my backy.

SHUDDAP!!!

Yeah! We won't stop playing asian rock until you greedy Americans give us back our railroads!

Shut up, Mike, and get back to the mission. Don't go AWOL on me soldier.

I need some beef.

As the flames erupted around the remaining fragments of the edifice, John Adams felt the weight of his burden lifted from his body. Geunther had told him to do it, and being a loyal Gauleiter, Mr. Adams fulflilled his duty without hesitation. "Perhaps now I can set my sights lower," John muttered to himself as he kicked his way toward the pleasantly soft sand on the opposite shore. History will absolve me...absolve me will history...Cuban cigars...ak-47s...the laberynthine city blocks of Havan...to each his own Mussolini. Again, the thoughts permeated his mind. This time, however, he would be able to control what he saw without experiencing the pain of the Fuhrer's iron grip. The days of Harsh were long gone...the mussolini-spouting roughian from the streets of Florida had made his triumphant return to the foothills of Alemania, and this time, the Fourth Reich would not fail. No, it certainly would not. A comrade knows where the power lies...and even a fascist is unaware of the hidden intensions of the crimson front...

The members of Tatu both embraced each other after the judge read the verdict. Mike Lindemuth, convicted of stalking the two popular singers, was sentenced to 10 years in prison.

Hsieh reached his limit when JEC forced him to dye his hair red. Now he sells broken television sets in Reno.

Hsieh's eldest son, $tutterin' $aiku.

David's prize livestock. The one on the left doesn't stand erect anymore.

The many faces of George Bush.

David Tiff in 169 years.

You really think so?

Sometimes, yeah.

Oh shoot. When Kevin dons his Gothic robe, we're in for some trouble.

Kevin, don't get so close to the Bunsen burner next time.

Tired.

Hey wassup family! It's me Brian Hsieh and my monkey! We're chillin' here at the University of Miami where I'm studying to be a physical therapist! SO GOOD!

Ah, you're so cute Ted. You actually thought we'd give in to your demands to use Ozzy Ozbourne music in goldfever.

After 3 martinis, Dan Stripling knew he had caught a winner when the fish nonchalantly informed him, "I am a winner."

As the woman crouched to the earth for the shot, Adams realized that he was just too far away. His boat, a small dingy name "The Frog", had run out of fuel a few miles off the coast of the beach.

Can I really?

Wait...None of those words exist except for "nice". What gives?

Hsieh, feelin' the unrest.

Now that I have the newest version of Counterstrike, life is complete.

Hand me another vodka, this paper's gonna take a long, long time...

POPPL

When Kirk gets a hold a of several multicolored spray cans, watch out, or this could happen to you.

Yeah, which one are you Adams?

That's right. I chewed lots of "bubble gum" in high school.

Feliz NAVIDAD senor, says the woman on the left to John Adams.

The woman on the right..."Hsieh, que puedes hacer para mi?"

The world seems much brighter now. I think I perfered it the other way.

To me, come.

Notice the clouds in the water. What if I never touched the water to make the coulds vanish? What if I stared at the reflection of the clouds in the water for so long that the clouds in the sky became false images, while the reflections became truth? I think the wise Hsieh should comment on such a theory.

Graham Greene after years of tyrannical rule.

"In the United States people everywhere go to college. It's expected. But for me, nothing in my life can ever compare to the moment I left Yellow Stone to go to college. It was like being liberated from a dungeon. For much of my life I felt like a frog trapped at the bottom of the well, looking up at beautiful passing swans. A quick glimpse and they were gone. Suddenly I felt that the swans I so admired had dropped into my well."

- Da Chen

Da Chen tells a good story. Sloped back on a chair at the 23rd Ave. Bookstore, he keeps the small audience at his reading riveted as he describes collecting fertilizer for his family�s garden. "Water buffalo are like humans. The first thing they want to do when they wake up is go to the bathroom. So we were ready, following them with a bucket," Chen says, moving his arms back and forth as if holding a bucket under the rear of a moving water buffalo.

What?! You didn't know?

Oh no, stock in Hideo Nomo is goin' down. I better sell it and buy Nagasaki Goat milk.

I wonder what that is...wait...that's my house.

Hsieh, your day will come, even azns are gettin' there...

Hunger.

nickel

Let's hear it for stupid

A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store,
but couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock
boy,"Do these turkeys get any bigger?"

The stock boy replied, "I don't think so ma'am, they're dead."


Caught for speeding

The cop got out of his car and the kid, that was stopped for
speeding, rolled down his window. "I've been waiting for you
all day," the cop said.

The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could."
When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid
on his way without a ticket.



Stuck under a bridge

A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes
up that reads "low bridge ahead."

Before he knows it the bridge is right ahead of him and he
gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles.
Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car
and walks around to the truck driver, puts his hands on his
hips and says, "Got stuck, huh?"

The truck driver says,
"No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas."


Drunk?

The drunken wino was stumbling down the street with one
foot on the curb and one foot in the gutter. A cop pulled up
and said, "I've got to take you in, sir. You're obviously drunk".

The wasted wino asked, "Ociffer, are ya absolutely sure I'm
drunk?" "Yeah, buddy, I'm sure," said the copper. "Let's go."

Obviously relieved, the wino said
"That's a relief - I thought I was a cripple."


Dealing with trouble

A deputy police officer responded to a report of a barroom
disturbance. The "disturbance" turned out to be well over
six feet tall and weighed almost 300 pounds. What's more,
he boasted that he could whip the deputy and Muhammad
Ali too. Said the policeman, "I'll bet that you're also an
escape artist-probably better than Houdini."

The giant nodded.

"If I had some chains," the deputy continued, "you could
show us how strong you really are. But all I've got is a set
of handcuffs. Why don't you see just how quickly you can
break out of them?"

Once in the cuffs, the man puffed, pulled and jerked for four
minutes. "I can't get out of these," the giant growled. "Are you
sure?" the deputy asked. The fellow tried again. "Nope," he
replied. "I can't do it."

"In that case," said the deputy, "you're under arrest."


Too Late

The man was in no shape to drive, so he wisely left his
car parked and walked home. As he was walking unsteadily
along, he was stopped by a policeman.

"What are you doing out here at 2 A. M.?" asked the officer.
"I'm going to a lecture." the man said. "And who is going to
give a lecture at this hour?" the cop asked.

"My wife," said the man.

HelloKittyRox33: i'm not the recycling monster
mgcchica 006: what are you than?
HelloKittyRox33: the recycling monsters helper

Cows eat grass!

Live each day as if it were your last, because you never know what tomorrow will bring. *I'm praying for ya'll!*

Don't forget what made you smile, just learn from the tears that follow

Always pullin me thru when my lifes a mess, my gurlz, my life, the very best!

Change is hard, you fight to hold on yet you fight to let go

Many people will walk in and out of your life, but only true friends leave footprints in your heart!

Friends are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly

Don't cry cuz its over, smile because it happened

Please wait...






Gotcha!

storyteller

E
Country til death.

If life hands you lemons, poke holes in the peels and use them as citrus grenades!
"What's that I smell? ..oh, it's a lawsuit..*WHA!*"
"WHAT? WHAT? WHAT?"

jaime5800: i bet you could pick up girls with your puns

jaime5800: i couldn't think of a response worthy enough

"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by"

"In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move."

"There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarrely inexeplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened."

" 'I may,' he added with a grin which would have sent sane men scampering into the trees, `have been imagining it.' "

For music, some really good video game soundtracks are:
Akumajo Dracula Best (Castlevania stuff with songs from 1-3, too sweet. Bloody Tears, Vampire Killer, and a ton of other classics),
Jet Set Radio Future OST (if you liked the game then you'll like the soundtrack, groovy music heh),
20020220 music from Final Fantasy (live concert - a FF tribute),
Super Mario World OSV (Disc 1 has some awesome symphonic mixes of classic tracks),
Super Mario Compact Disco (funny radio play with MC Mario and remixes of songs from every Super Mario Bros game)
Donkey Kong Country OST (who didn't love this game? :P),
10th Anniversary Konami Theme Songs Collection (great j-popish tribute album with classic songs like "I am the Wind" -Dracula X, and "Motto Motto Tokimeki!" -Tokimeki Memorial).

For English music, about the only music I listen to is trance/techno stuff with occasional dabblings into hardcore and drum n' bass. Some favorite mixes are Paul Oakenfold and Paul Van Dyk.

Lastly rounding out my asian music tastes, my favorite groups/artists are: Ayumi Hamasaki, Yuki Kimura, Clon, and SES.

Last year Adam and I got into Hong Kong movies heavily and in a year's time I've amassed tons of movies and have seen almost all of them ^_^. Just as American cinema spans every genre, so does Hong Kong cinema. It's not all Crounching Tiger or Iron Monkey though that's about the only thing that ever makes it over here to America -_-. Well that being said, most people are missing out on the genius that is Hong Kong cinema and some of my favorite actors like Stephen Chow, Andy Lau, Jakie Chan, Ekin Cheng and Nick Cheung.
Here's a quick rundown of a few must-see movies though there's plenty more if you ask ^_^
Shaolin Soccer
The Legend of Speed
Gen-X Cops/Gen-Y Cops
The Duel
The God of Cookery
The Accidental Spy
You Shoot, I Shoot
Love on a Diet
The Conman Trilogy (99, in Vegas, in Tokyo)
The God of Gamblers
2002
Fulltime Killer
The Legend of Zu
Young & Dangerous

...plus more, just ask heh

Yes. You have my blessing

- Memphis State Police

9/29/02
Product or Service Involved: Dogg Speakers Several weeks ago I encountered these van driving cretins. I had them follow me to an obscure location near an interstate off ramp. I told them I was
checking my trunk to see if I had room for the speakers. I took the baseball bat I keep in the trunk and hit the first in the cheek and ear. The other one ran, but I caught him and beat him with
the bat. I found the address of the distributor and mailed them a few teeth from the first guy. This may seem brutal, but if the police wont do anything, this may be the only way to get these
criminals off the street. The Fraud Buster

Well Kyle, this is what your claims add up to be.

Back off yo.

Wat up!?

21456465
4546546543210

"Vincent? This is Hank. Are you going to be busy for the next few weeks? Me and the four boys thought we might come down for a while...."

If only that were the case...

El Salvador!!!!!!!

What's that? You think the judge is a Communist because he's wearing red reading glasses?

That's right, sir.

Good enough for me.

Lardy, accompanied by Senator Joe McCarthy, addressing the
House Unamerican Activities Committee. A number of badgers
and other woodland creatures were suspected of membership
of the Communist Party at this time.