Thursday, October 31, 2002

i wonder if heaven gotta ghetto for thug niggaz?
RIP Jam Master Jay

Wednesday, October 30, 2002

i cant read chinese, but i like what i see...


La mosca. Bizz Bizz. You wanna some suga? I gots whatcha need.

Sexton Mountain Mariposa Lily. ::Gape::

Ralph Nader finally got his point across.

Eminem Impersonator Causes Panic

Man dresses up as Eminem with a chainsaw for a costume party and goes to the wrong address.
Panic ensues.
Only in the U.K.

Clinton laughs it up with Mondale during the Wellstone memorial service.
See, guys, they have no sense of respect...

Tuesday, October 29, 2002


David...that's not what to do when impressing the ladies.

A Relaxing Day in the Pool in Tokyo

What could we have learned?

wait... how is that again?...

pro choice?

the original TROJAN MAN - birth control indeed!

Another tragic scene from the Ted Kennedy Driving School.


Below the inscription is a smaller inscription that reads, "Mom always liked Him best".

In Columbia, this is how they flip you the bird.

A green haired white boy Hsieh searches for the right tonic

What the heck Hsieh? You don't make any sense now. Or do you?

Nostral-Dumbass: "I didnt see that one coming..."
JT: "I did."

eleanor roos: "MY DOG!!!"
TJ: "I dont discriminate."

Hitler: "eh? that felt good!"
TJ: "yes, I know."

Monday, October 28, 2002

JJ: "Harriet Tubman, you touch my ass?"
HT: "Why reverend jessie jackson, i know my freedom train is bound for glory, but no sir, it wasnt me."
JJ: "Okay cause just a second ago... OH! motha fookin... there it was again!"
HT: "what?"
JJ: "It was you!!"
HT: "It wasnt...."
JJ and HT: "Thomas Jefferson?!"
TJ: "Yes, and incase you were wondering, IM YO DADDA! George wash aint got jack on me. Im the REAL father of this nation."

"I am the very model of a modern Major-General..."

But this I admit
Tastes so good,
hard to believe an end to it
Smell touch feel.

Hmm. I wonder...

This is Juan Rulfo, the "supermexicano" who wrote Pedro Paramo. How does one who looks this distinguished write such a Dali-esque novel? I believe only Mr. Paramo can tell us himself...

MS - Senor Rulfo, how and why did you write Pedro Paramo?

JR - You think I wrote it? Hah, I scoff at you. (scoff scoff scoff scoff) It was not I, but the leprechaun in my closet who wrote this bewildering story.

MS - But Senor Ruflo, you are accredited with writing this amazing work. Why would you put your name on something that is not yours?

JR - Dinero, amigo, Dinero. What more is there to life but money? Surely, a bright nino such as yourself would know such a common principle.

MS - ...

JR - Heath chocolate and lots of sauerkraut.

MS - What?!?! Is that the true secret to your success? Was your leprechaun escapade just an extension of your vast humor reserve?

JR - Shut up you. You make me sad.

MS - I'm sorry, senor. What is the problem?

JR - I said SHUT UP YOU.

MS - Hmm. (hums Contaminame)

JR - (perks up his ears and sways to the rhythm)

MS - Contaminame...Mezclate conmigo!!


MS - Um. Erm. Okay.

JR - Thank you. (pics up War and Peace and begins reading the first page, albeit upside down)

MS - Um...Excuse me, Senor Rulfo?


MS - But senior, you are reading the book upside down.

JR - No dip sherlock. This helps me feel the work from a new perspective. War and Peace is a world turning masterpiece. It was meant to be read upside down.

MS - That's it, this guys full of it. (gets up to leave)

JR - I'm afraid your mistaken, young sod. You see, my magic realism extends beyond the literary realm. In fact, I am a practicing mystic. SHIM SHIM SHALA BIM!

MS - (turns into a pile of gleaming viscera, an apparent allusion to Chronicle of a Death Foretold)

JR - I laugh at you. Psht.

MS - Crazy old fool. That book came after your time.

JR - Shut up you. You know nothing. You are simply a worhless IB student...

How does one make a movie about Pedro Paramo? It seems too...random. But a structure exists, yes? Oh yea. It can be done then. Can it?

This is Pedro Paramo? Somehow I don't think so... It seems to...normal...peasant farmer...North way two classes crossover...NO!!!!...floof...

Ah, there it is. Looks old and worn down. Should I still knock? I don't know. I just don't know.

Das Yacht Club

Where's the backdoor to this place...?

wtf?!?! couldnt they have found some better lookin hookas? especially that dude barrymore with the sunglasses on the far left. wtf is that?!

the answer is no

removed due to misunderstanding

Saturday, October 26, 2002

and they picked the black guy!?
actually, come to think of it... i would have too...

place your bets!!

Sometimes, You Gotta do whatcha gotta do...

Good ol' California. That's the place where I'm at, and don't let any of them hooligans tell you otherwise.

California or Bust?

"Hey Christina, ow u doin? No, no. Just sittin' here, dreaming of the endless skies of the California valleys. You remember? Cause I d...want to. Yes. Take me there, Christina. As three we will be. As one we are none. Together. Forever. Live. Fly. I am you."

-Matthew Szabo

Philosophy from the mischevous and always dubious mind

"When the end is near, the beginning is much, much further away." - Bill Gates

Friday, October 25, 2002

The American Situation, According to Michael

Y'all have fun with this one.

Quiet Szabes. I'm not the one ratting on our friend Hsieh b/c of his race, am I?
And honestly, I expected that out of Michael, not you.

i always thought it was for Kevin

Apparently, one of the K's in KKK stands for Korea

A South Korean model presents a creation by Japanese designer Kouji Toyoda in Seoul October 21, 2002.

"Simply, I am a white woman trapped in the body of a black man who's trying to be a white man."

Hmm. Hsieh, perhaps your brother needs some counseling due to his Michael Jackson obsession. Who knows, maybe he's really an asian woman in a asian man's body trying to be a crazed albino pop singer who is actually a white woman trapped in the body of a black man who's trying to be a white man. Thus, you need to prevent your brother from achieving his goal of becoming a white man. White man, get your hands off her. GET AWAY FROM HER!!

At the Saudi Arabian Department of Motor Vehicles, Devi appeals their decision to mutilate her genitals for running a red light.

Sterilization can be advocated in the most subtle ways. Let's do like the Saudi's do and enforce harsher punishments for traffic regulations. That guy that keeps using the space in front of my house as a parking space is gonna get what's coming to him, that's for sure.

First in a series of several:

Feel free to comment. More to come.

"Matt, there's got to be an easier way to catch the ferry!"

I don't care. California is on that boat.

"Look at that Arab-looking guy over there. I better get security... Agghhh, oh crap, I'm too full of chicken and ribs to move my fat ass off this folding chair. Oh well..."

Hey! Chicken and ribs are American tradition. Without them, we wouldn't be the largest country in the world. What? Russia is larger? No. They have skinny people, with no food, and thus no real power.

"Really, Dick, I had no idea about your heart problems."

"Well, Mrs. Harding, you're pregnant."

Well, I'll be. Hsieh, did you do this? Shame on you.

"What? Am I hiding any what? I can't hear you with these big earmuffs on. What?"