I am only one posting? How is that?

Um. wha? Your mom thinks I am funny guy? Hum. Well, I have a fan now. Sveet.

"Four years ago, Wyzenbeek's estranged wife died in a car accident. The longtime pop-culture collector decided then that it was time to stop putting off his life's fantasy: Now, when the urge strikes, he hits the town as his favorite superhero. So bring on the bad stuff. He can take it..."

love is cold...i don't need...

can you tell me how to get how to get to sensamea streat...

first born unicorn...hardcore soft prOn....

Just repeat after me...it's a scoobydoobedoobe melody...

i've been searching for man all across japan just to find you...

one thousand faces all look the same they're all so boring mild and tame...

it's inside your head making you forget yourself and what's behind...

...she talks over the sound of the cars that pass us by....

...on such a winter's day...

you're all i need...you smiled at me...and said...

sometimes i dream...that he is me...you got to see that's how i dream to be...

you cannot quit me so quickly...

i'll steal somethin' good for you...

heard about the old time sailor men they eat the same thing again and again...

it's no suprise to me, I am my own worst enemy...

listen baby...aint no mountain high...

That's great it starts with an earthquake...

when she smiles...

so you're standing over me it looks like you might fall...

how do you document real like when real life is getting more like fiction each day?

never could imagine there were so many ways to love somebody...

i'll be alone dancing you know it baby...

Over the mountains and the seas...

Particle man, doing the things a particle can.

Never again. No, never again.

When you walk away, you don't hear me say, please baby

Man Hsieh, you are a riot. You should write movie reviews. I know everyone would enjoy getting both humor and good movie information out of your column. Bravo.

One thing. I don't think most of the jokes in Greek Wedding were predictable. I think the reason why many of them were so funny is because they came out of nowhere sometimes, catching you off guard. It was top notch comedy in my opinion.

I was thinking the same thing with the makeup too. Why do some people feel they have to put on so much? I think it degrades the NATURAL BEAUTY that ALL people have to some extent. Excessive makeup will only make the lack of true beauty more apparent. Granted, she looked like dog shat before her instant makeover, but she could have looked more presentable if she lossed the glasses and put on a little lipstick, but definetly not the multilayered blush and the eye shadow. I understand that blush makes a woman's cheek more "healthy" looking (healthy meaning red), but for some reason it just seems a poor excuse to hide the true color of the skin that is in my opinion more appealing.

By the way, why did the husband cheat with that crap? HE HAD IT GOOD BEFORE!! TOO MUCH LIKE SS AND ZEBRA. DOESN'T MAKE SENSE.

Yet, what clearly illustrates her progressive growth into the father's ideology is the way she faces Gregor, with a "raised fist and piercing eyes"(36). This image closely resembles her father in his new bank uniform, his impotence restored. Thus, she is on her way to becoming daddy's little girl.

Yeah. Right there. Delete that file labeled "Instrumental Analysis". That should take care him...har har

The Lovely Sang Saioku from Hsieh's Dance Troupe

Hsieh Link Here for Trouble



Hey, Brian Hsieh here. I just got back from my dancing tour across China, and boy was it grand.
People truly shouted for joy when I graced the stage and showed them the dance I like to call, "Za Wang Yu". It consists of a
the wonderful Sang Saioku and I twirling across the stage in outfits made entirely of rice paddies. The crowd always goes wild when
I go for my "Hsieh Link" leap, flying across the stage in a fetal position that seems entirely impossible. While it's always an honor to
dance in any Chinese city, my trip to the enchanting Forbidden City will always occupy a special place in my heart, namely because of the warmth
the people of the town showed at my arrival. Each child came clothed in hand-made "Hsieh: The Find Me Tour" (bought for an absorbant sum
from the local sweat shop) and many of the adults waved American flags with a caricature of my head on it. The sight was truly magnificant, and
now that I am back in the United States I expect all of you to do the same. If I do not see a freshman carrying a lunchbox with my face on it, the
US will feel the agony of the Taiwanese Kamikaze. But that won't happen, because Americans are easily brainwashed. Soon, I will expand beyond
the feeble adoration of Matty Zaboo and Krikland Keainy. The SS, lunch line, mariposa, library, California...all will soon bow to Slammin' Hsieh the
Supah Samurai. Prepare thyself. The age of Hsieh has begun.

Do it like a Kenney!

Kin is Kin? I think so.

Here Comes Hsieh



Where are you?

Oh Canada: "Our Cabinet is always unanimous, except when we disagree" - William Vander Zalm, Premier of British Columbia, Canada.

"i'm a survivor. i'm like a cockroach. You cant get rid of me" - madonna......gregor was a cockroach and they got rid of him. what is *that* about?!?!?!

"we need the players because without he players we wouldnt have a team" - Howard Wilkinson, technical driector on Radio 4 (UK)

"My friends, its with a great deal of pride that i present to you a president who wants to cut job - who wants to cut taxes to cut jobs - who wants to stop regulations to cut the jobs...." - politician introducing Prez. George Bush to an audience

"oxford are ahead. No Cambridge are ahead. I dont know who's ahead, but its either OXford or Cambride" - sports announcer during Oxford-Cambridge boat race.

Where can I buy some Californication?

Sometime.

O Canada, oh Canada. Canada...the Beautiful.

Gotta love it.

Running in the Family

PoJo345: Too much?
PoJo345: Too much medication for you?
OnMedicAZN: perhaps
PoJo345: At least...that's what Brian says.
OnMedicAZN: k
PoJo345: Yes, and don't you forget that, or the prOn will get to you.
OnMedicAZN: I've built up immunity to that
PoJo345: Have you now?
OnMedicAZN: It rubs off from VPL
PoJo345: I see.
PoJo345: Well then, you are certainly on your way.
OnMedicAZN: perhaps
PoJo345: But what about the "Heshe" syndrome?
PoJo345: I've witnessed it in Brian. Isn't it a genetic condition?
OnMedicAZN: Only 50% expression
PoJo345: Ah.
OnMedicAZN: half of my professors have pronounced it correctly
OnMedicAZN: first try
PoJo345: Hmm...
PoJo345: ...how many false positives?
OnMedicAZN: 0
PoJo345: Hmm.
PoJo345: That is great new for you, my friend.
PoJo345: *news
OnMedicAZN: of course
PoJo345: Well, I suspect this conversation means nothing then, and will continue to produce nothing less of nothing.
PoJo345: But first...
PoJo345: ...your buddy icon.
PoJo345: I've never seen anything quite like it.
PoJo345: What can you tell me about it?
OnMedicAZN: I made it
OnMedicAZN: 1st frame was from FF1
OnMedicAZN: the rest i made
PoJo345: I see.
PoJo345: I suspected that it came from an early video game.
PoJo345: Good job.
PoJo345: Breakdancing is a good hobby, too.
PoJo345: Can you do what your character can?
OnMedicAZN: not quite
OnMedicAZN: i collapse at around frame 4
PoJo345: Hah. Nice.

Kirk, your chat with yakalalie is pure brilliance. I laughed the whole time. Keep shipping out the good material to keep old chaps like me happy. Thanks for the memories, oh MOST MEMORABLE Kirk Kenney.

LOL

"It isn't pollution that's harming
the environment. It's the
impurities in our air and water
that are doing it."
...George W. Bush

http://www.xanga.com/profile.asp?user=pojo345 - Be warned. You will lose intelligence if you visit here.

Today will rest in our memories as the day when communism died.

I Believe Chase Has Snapped (Notice I do not have any part in this, except for an away message)

Amazin Sea Fish: someone has been a bad boy

Auto response from PoJo345: Out crushing Communism. McCarthy is helping out. IM me if you want to be acccused of Communist subversion, and then brutally manhandled until you confess to your blatant and unamerican crimes. And no, the fifth amendment will not be allowed. "FIFTH AMENDMENT COMMUNISTS" will be guilty just as any normal criminally insane communist. Thanks.

Please pledge allegiance to the flag 45 times. Then I will call you a patriotic American.

Amazin Sea Fish: what has come of this
Amazin Sea Fish: . All the time.

My Own Amusing Website
http://ibphilosophy.blogspot.com

pojorific, adj: something that at first just seems weird, but once you think about it is actually really funny and then you start using it so it causes a revolution. Viva la revolucion








Amazin Sea Fish: well where is it
Amazin Sea Fish: tell me that
Amazin Sea Fish: where is it
Amazin Sea Fish: i ask you, parents, teachers, and students alike, where is it
Amazin Sea Fish: look under your seats, look at the board, hell, look in your car and i assure you that you will not find it
Amazin Sea Fish: and i ask you to dare defy definetly taht which i have laid down not as theory but as fact, and spit in the face of your accusers who blatently point out what you want is right in front of you
Amazin Sea Fish: but i ask you, is it? IS IT?
Amazin Sea Fish: look at your neighbor yoru frieds your parents and your enemies, do any of them have it?
Amazin Sea Fish: NO
Amazin Sea Fish: and do you know why
Amazin Sea Fish: ?
Amazin Sea Fish: i do not believe you do
Amazin Sea Fish: so SHUT UP
Amazin Sea Fish signed off at 10:33:57 PM.

McCarthyism and the Media

McCarthy. An infamous name known by all who study history as the man who introduced a method of accusing ordinary citizens of communism, and then using
obviously radical methods to produce a clearly forced confession. The media had differing viewpoints on the man. Many despised him. Several news articles portrayed him
as a "rampaging Republican" who was clearly participating in the communist "witch-hunts" to promote himself politically, rather than purge the US of any internal subversion for
the "good of the people". Yet others in the news grasped his accusations and made them front page material, placing in big bold letters eye catching titles such as "THE COMMIES
ARE HERE" and "CRIMSON CHINA...US TO FOLLOW?".
McCarthy's suggestion that there were "205 card carrying Communists" working in the state department and shaping foreign policy is widely disputed as to its accuracy. Even McCarthy himself
reminds us that there is no proof that he ever stated this figure at the famous speech in front of the Women's Republican Club on February 9, 1950 at Wheeling, West Virgina. No recording was ever
made of the speech, and all other documentation regarding the true nature of the speech has been collected from witnesses who tend to disagree on what was actually said. Nevertheless, the press grabbed
the accusation, knowing fully that the topic would be hot and would certainly not end with a single story.
Yet, what most journalists didn't realize was that no matter what opinion their columns held, any story was great publicity for McCarthy. The thought of seemingly patriotic citizens with secret ties to
an ideology that conflicts entirely with democracy fascinated the American public, less so intelectually and more predominantly in their growing fear of communist takeover. Sure, many journalists
criticized McCarthy for his brash and brutal tactics and his tendency to produce poor evidence against the accused. But the fact remains that McCarthy's exploits, no matter how unconstitutional, confirmed
American fears of communist invasion on a political level, and these exploits were publicized every day, reminding the public of the Communist threat to their security as American citizens.

Three Legs are Not Enough

Swimfan4u: I'm Madison Bell. Who r u?
Matt Saiyan: fdf
Matt Saiyan: d
Swimfan4u: couldn't say for sure.
Matt Saiyan: what?
Matt Saiyan: I am Zaboo.
Swimfan4u: So what else do u want 2 know?
Matt Saiyan: How old are you?
Swimfan4u: Hi there you.
Swimfan4u: Okaaayyy... What else is on your mind?
Swimfan4u: Why do you want it?
Swimfan4u: Say something more interesting or I'm going.
Swimfan4u: Um....not to change the subject, but do u know Ben Cronin?
Matt Saiyan: Yeah, I do.
Matt Saiyan: He's a stankwank.
Matt Saiyan: How many legs are in a fish?
Matt Saiyan: What is my maiden name?
Matt Saiyan: Do you like cheese?
Matt Saiyan: What is the answer to 42 plus eeee minus t?
Matt Saiyan: Can you eat beefey.
Matt Saiyan: YEs.
Matt Saiyan: What is your middle name?
Matt Saiyan: Why are you so dumb?
Matt Saiyan: Why is a movie so stupid?
Matt Saiyan: Why IS YOUR MOVIE SO DUMB?
Matt Saiyan: what is wrong with you?
Matt Saiyan: HUHUHUUHUH?
Matt Saiyan: Made I Son, what up?
Matt Saiyan: what is up
Matt Saiyan: what is up?
Matt Saiyan: hum hum
Matt Saiyan: hum hum?
Matt Saiyan: sidkd ekd iekd
Matt Saiyan: cat
Matt Saiyan: cat
Matt Saiyan: i like kt
Matt Saiyan: dk?
Matt Saiyan: fie fie/
Matt Saiyan: huh/
Matt Saiyan: you take too long to do anything
Matt Saiyan: what da junk
Swimfan4u: Um....not to change the subject, but do u know Ben Cronin?
Swimfan4u: Do u have a problem with that?
Matt Saiyan: HUH?
Swimfan4u: I am glad to hear that you are .
Matt Saiyan: what teh junk
Matt Saiyan: is wrong iwth you
Matt Saiyan: WHAT IS WRONG
Matt Saiyan: i think we need two dollar
Matt Saiyan: where is my friend sam
Matt Saiyan: ?
Matt Saiyan: what is my name/
Matt Saiyan: what is the kickeickeickeick?
Swimfan4u: Um....not to change the subject, but do u know Ben Cronin?I get it: you do you.
Swimfan4u: I get it. somebody is a stankwank.
Matt Saiyan: YOU are a crazy stinking pile of poo.
Matt Saiyan: Can you tellme how to get home?
Swimfan4u: Hello. You are chatting with Madison Bell courtesy of Twentieth Century Fox. Visit Madison's site at www.swimfan4u.com to learn more.
Swimfan4u: The Swimfan bot only collects non-personally identifiable user data for the purpose of facilitating the user's interaction with the bot. No personally identifiable data is collected or shared with a third party. Aggregated and anonymous data may be shared with a third party.
Swimfan4u: What's Your Name?
Matt Saiyan: Matt Papoo.
Matt Saiyan: My name is Matt.
Matt Saiyan: What is your name?
Matt Saiyan: WHAT IS UP
Matt Saiyan: WHAT IS UP


Matt Saiyan: HELLO
Matt Saiyan: HELLEOELE

Swimfan4u: I don't know.
Matt Saiyan: you are dumb
Matt Saiyan: is that right?
Swimfan4u: HI. You are chatting with Madison Bell courtesy of Twentieth Century Fox. Visit Madison's site at www.swimfan4u.com to learn more.
Swimfan4u: The Swimfan bot only collects non-personally identifiable user data for the purpose of facilitating the user's interaction with the bot. No personally identifiable data is collected or shared with a third party. Aggregated and anonymous data may be shared with a third party.
Swimfan4u: What's Your Name?
Swimfan4u: Hi HELLEOELE.
Matt Saiyan: YOU ARE CRAZY SON OF A SNITCH.

Time to Lay off the Randomness Methinks

tknagmo: it is?
PoJo345: da
tknagmo: who is this
PoJo345: Kim II
tknagmo: kimi?
PoJo345: da chen
tknagmo: eh???
tknagmo: im lost, start over
PoJo345: saigon
PoJo345: cometh
PoJo345: and you neeed to be ready
tknagmo: WHAT?!
tknagmo: eh....?
PoJo345: BE READY
PoJo345: for the unimaginable
tknagmo: ok
tknagmo: im braced
tknagmo: whats gona happen to me>
PoJo345: you will experience a massive smack attack at the age of 34.
tknagmo: YESSS!
tknagmo: i always wanted one of those
PoJo345: yes
PoJo345: and you will get one
PoJo345: and you will like it, and then you will hate it
tknagmo: yess!
tknagmo: I KNEW IT
PoJo345: and then the dichotomous accent of the situation will cause you to wet your pants uncontrollably
tknagmo: oh yes!
PoJo345: and then...
tknagmo: AN THEN!?
PoJo345: ...a man named John Adams will come and lift you into the air...
PoJo345: ...and you will fly away...
PoJo345: ...fly away to a place that only you and I know of...
PoJo345: ...and then...
PoJo345: ...you will eat baked ham.
PoJo345: Somebody will say...
tknagmo: GASP!
PoJo345: "YAY IM HOTT!"
tknagmo: I KNEWWWW IT!
PoJo345: and you will faint.
tknagmo: LOlLLL
PoJo345: You will not wake up for seven years, thinking about the last words you heard and trying to figure out their meaning.
tknagmo: lol
tknagmo: "YAY IM HOTT"
tknagmo: oop brb
PoJo345: and suddently you will wake up
PoJo345: and that same person will shout
PoJo345: NOT!
PoJo345: and then you will be right back.

Auto response from tknagmo: brb

tknagmo: ok nakv
PoJo345: NAKV
tknagmo: LOL
tknagmo: back*
PoJo345: You are a street lackey, yes?
PoJo345: Of course you are.
PoJo345: Yes, you are.
PoJo345: and you will always be one.
tknagmo: yes
PoJo345: HAM AND CHEESE will follow you for your entire life.
tknagmo: of course.....
PoJo345: You will ask it to stop..
tknagmo: HAM AND CHEESE??
tknagmo: is this thomas>
tknagmo: ?
PoJo345: ...but tit wont listen.
PoJo345: *it
tknagmo: lol
PoJo345: It will ask for your social security number.
PoJo345: You will refuse.
tknagmo: will it?
PoJo345: It will then proceed to climb into your mouth.
PoJo345: You will refuse.
PoJo345: It will then forcefully enter your nose.
PoJo345: You will refuse.
tknagmo: AHHH
tknagmo: wait wait
PoJo345: It will pry out your eyes and enter your scull.
tknagmo: stop please
PoJo345: *skull
PoJo345: YOu will forcefully refuse.
tknagmo: EXCUSE ME!
tknagmo: who are you
PoJo345: It will die.
PoJo345: You will step on it.
tknagmo: WHO ARE YOU
PoJo345: Then...
tknagmo: OMG YOU ARE SO WERID
PoJo345: ...you will eat it.
PoJo345: And you will like it so much.
tknagmo: i think im gona stop talking to you now
tknagmo: AAA
PoJo345: and then someone named thomas will walk by...
tknagmo: thomas?
PoJo345: ...he will ask your name.
tknagmo: oh please
PoJo345: You will say..."
tknagmo: tina
PoJo345: no
PoJo345: you will not say that
PoJo345: you will say..."koreena"
tknagmo: ok what wil i say
tknagmo: oh yes
PoJo345: Yes.
tknagmo: "koreeba"
PoJo345: You certainly will.
PoJo345: Thomas will ask you your middle name.
PoJo345: You will shout
PoJo345: "it is none other than KIPPER JONES"
PoJo345: He will fall onto the floor in a pool of water, laughing.
PoJo345: You will ask him why he is laughing.
PoJo345: He will not answer you.
PoJo345: "why, why won't you answer me?"
PoJo345: He will stop laughing.
PoJo345: He will stand up, and brush off his own viscera, making sure to remove any dirt stuck to the outer regions.
PoJo345: He will then proceed to say...
tknagmo: ....
PoJo345: "Wene, child, they've killed me"
PoJo345: He will fall face down in the pool
PoJo345: and he will move again.
PoJo345: Over and over again.
PoJo345: So much that everything around you starts to move.
tknagmo: relly now?
PoJo345: Cracks appear in your own reality...breaking the seats and the chairs...and the armchair with joe montana on the back...
PoJo345: ..you will wonder...
tknagmo: omaigod
PoJo345: "why me?"
tknagmo: oooooooooooomaigod
PoJo345: "what is going on here"?
tknagmo: God help this poor child
PoJo345: No one will answer you.
tknagmo: he needs help
tknagmo: desperately
PoJo345: Then...
PoJo345: ...out of nowhere it seems...
PoJo345: ...a man will appear, holding a lampshade.
tknagmo: and saying
PoJo345: He is white, but he has an afro. A blonde afro.
PoJo345: He looks you up and down.
PoJo345: You do the same to him.
tknagmo: ...........ew
tknagmo: lOLLL
PoJo345: You realize that he is wearing the same pants he wore three days ago.
PoJo345: You don't know why, but you do.
tknagmo: oh of course
PoJo345: You think to yourself...
PoJo345: "this is truly insane"
PoJo345: You would be correct.
PoJo345: The man speaks slowly, but with a tone of confidence that you find attractive...
tknagmo: oh so attractive
PoJo345: "Hello, Koreeba, my child. I've come for you."
tknagmo: AAA
tknagmo: AAA
PoJo345: This is a bit frightening at first.
tknagmo: YOU ARE SO SCARY
tknagmo: AAAA
PoJo345: You are not sure what he is talking about.
tknagmo: im backing away now....
tknagmo: away from you....
PoJo345: Yet then, everything ends.
tknagmo: who are you?
PoJo345: The man disapears.
PoJo345: The cracks become whole again.
PoJo345: The entire world begins to shift...
tknagmo: obviously
PoJo345: ...dissolving into a puddle of water that you never realized was there in the first place...
PoJo345: ...and yet...you did.
PoJo345: You are in your home now.
PoJo345: Looking at a glass of water that is on the floor, its contents spilled onto the tile in your bathroom.
PoJo345: "It was all a dream," you think to yourself.
PoJo345: You are not entirely correct.
PoJo345: You ponder this for a moment, thinking about how you got here, and why.
PoJo345: You cannot think of anything that makes even the least bit of sense.
tknagmo: get away!
PoJo345: But that's ok.
tknagmo: YOU ARE SCAREEEE
PoJo345: You aren't worried anymore.
tknagmo: im NT?1
PoJo345: No, you're not.
PoJo345: You are very calm.
PoJo345: So calm, in fact, that you don't feel anything at all.
PoJo345: No emotion, no pain, no sensation. Nothing.
tknagmo: oh yes
tknagmo: since ure not listening
PoJo345: Yet, you are aware that you exist.
tknagmo: im gona do the same
tknagmo: ok
PoJo345: Suddenly, you feel like you are floating.
PoJo345: Acending upwards...
PoJo345: you are afraid of hitting the ceiling...
PoJo345: ...but that doesn't matter anymore.
tknagmo: this poor child
PoJo345: It doesn't exist.
tknagmo: doesnt know how to express himself
tknagmo: so he talks to sum1 he dont kno
tknagmo: scaring her outa her mind'
PoJo345: You cross gently through the place in the ceiling and continue onward towards the clouds...
tknagmo: for his own sick fun
PoJo345: ...and then you can see the entire world.
PoJo345: You then realize how much fun you've had, even if you didn't really understand what was going on.
PoJo345: You were never truly scared. Just curious.
PoJo345: And is curiosity evil? Of course not.
tknagmo: AAA GET AWAT
PoJo345: Curiosity didn't kill the cat.
tknagmo: yes it did
tknagmo: well
PoJo345: No, it didn't.
tknagmo: even tho ure not listening
tknagmo: im gona go now
PoJo345: You do that.
PoJo345: But remember...
tknagmo: OH YOU ARE CONCIOUS
PoJo345: ...flotation devices are not to be tampered with.
tknagmo: wow
tknagmo: ok ill remember that
PoJo345: Good.
tknagmo: and you remember that
tknagmo: scaring kids isnt all there is to life
tknagmo: because in the end the oranges always come home
PoJo345: Have a nice and enjoyable day that will ultimately end in peace and relaxation.
tknagmo: ok?
tknagmo: um...
tknagmo: you too
PoJo345: I had no intention of scaring anyone.
tknagmo: bye!
tknagmo: WELL YOU SURE AS HECK DID!
PoJo345: Well then.
PoJo345: That was not my intention, and I am truly sorry.
tknagmo: ah!
tknagmo: youre scarier then ever
PoJo345: No.
tknagmo: well thank you for your apology
PoJo345: I think the fear exists in your mind alone.
PoJo345: I am not scary.
tknagmo: eh..yes
tknagmo: ok
PoJo345: I am simply a 17 year old boy searching for a way to procrastinate.
tknagmo: your 17?!
tknagmo: who are you
PoJo345: How old did you think I was?
tknagmo: like 13
tknagmo: the way you were so,,,,
tknagmo: weird,
PoJo345: hey, uh...
PoJo345: ...do you know who ErI oNoDa is?
tknagmo: no
PoJo345: Ok.
PoJo345: You just lied.
tknagmo: i do not know of any eri onodas
PoJo345: That's not nice.
PoJo345: tErI oNoDa: DON"T MESS WITH KOREENA BITCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111
tErI oNoDa: >:o
tknagmo: oh indeed>?
PoJo345: I find this uncomforting.
tknagmo: im so sorry
PoJo345: Yet, i will dismiss it, in light of recent events.
tknagmo: well gtg byebye!
PoJo345: Alright.
PoJo345: have a nice day
PoJo345: and remember
PoJo345: I wasn't trying to scare anyone
tknagmo: aw
tknagmo: ok
tknagmo: bye/!
PoJo345: good bye
PoJo345: You haven't left yet.
tknagmo: i know

Lie awake at night, thiking of jim.

California dreamin'.

Swish.

I attack Puba.

Papa Zaboo: "I'm gonna take your clothes under your bed and throw them in the toilet mixed with vinegar dressing taken from a female calf that gave birth to three twin monkey children that each have the iq of a stop sign that is being overtaken by a small yet concentrated force of young delinquents that each have a degree in math theory from the university of micronesia, circa 1834."

IB Quote of the Day

I'll always remember 1995 as the year I found out Star Trek wasn't real. - JAD, aka J. Adams.

Butterfly

I've been searching for a man
All across Japan
Just to find, to find my samurai

Someone who is strong
But still a little shy
Yes I need, I need my samurai

Ay, ay, ay, I'm your little butterfly
Green, black, and blue
Make the colors in the sky
Ay, ay, ay, I'm your little butterfly
Green, black, and blue
Make the colors in the sky

I've been searching in the woods
And high upon the hills
Just to find, to find my samurai

Someone who won't regret
To keep me in his net
Yes I need, I need my samurai

Ay, ay, ay, I'm your little butterfly
Green, black, and blue
Make the colors in the sky
Ay, ay, ay, I'm your little butterfly
Green, black, and blue
Make the colors in the sky

Ai, iyaiyai
Ai, iyaiyai
A-a-a iyaiyai
Where's my samurai

Ay, ay, ay, I'm your little butterfly
Green, black, and blue
Make the colors in the sky
Ay, ay, ay, I'm your little butterfly
Green, black, and blue
Make the colors in the sky

Ha. None. Ha.

I just wanted to tell you that the one that I will marry is named
> === message truncated ===

Hmm...an allusion to Walsh... http://iwanttosay.info/johnson/

Video Game Character Wondering Why Heartless God Always Choses 'Continue'


ORANGEBURG, SC�Solid Snake, tactical-espionage expert and star of PlayStation's "Metal Gear Solid," questioned the nature of the universe Monday when, moments after his 11th death in two hours, a cruel God forced him to "Continue" his earthly toil and suffering.

"Is this all there is?" asked Snake, hiding in a storage locker while two masked guards searched for him in the hold of a cargo ship. "Is this why I was created? To suffer? Will I ever escape this endless loop of grueling labor followed by violent death?"

Snake was then discovered by the guards and cut down in a hail of gunfire.

Snake, who has been fatally shot 2,143 times in the past six months, said he does not know why God deems it necessary for him to endlessly repeat his mission, which involves sneaking aboard a hijacked military ship and discovering who stole the walking nuclear-equipped battle tank known as Metal Gear Ray.

"Why will the Lord not grant me my final rest?" asked a reincarnated Snake, crawling underneath a lifeboat on the ship's weather deck. "Certainly there must be a greater purpose for me than to kill dozens and eventually be killed myself."

Added Snake: "As Goethe said, 'Man must strive, and in striving he must err.'"

Pitching himself over the ship's railing to avoid a trio of patrol guards, Snake pondered the notion of self-determination, wondering aloud whether he had any control over his own destiny. Before he could draw any conclusions, however, he lost his grip, falling into the sea and drowning.

"The Koran asks, 'Shall not the Lord of all the Earth do right?'" said Snake, rematerializing under the lifeboat. "But scholars have often argued whether the question is an assertion of belief or a refutation of faith in absolute goodness on the part of the Creator. As for myself, all I know is, I'm tired of the constant pain, death, and destruction."

Snake was then shot in the head by an undetected guard, falling into a pool of his own blood before reappearing in the ship's afterdeck, where his mission began.

"I often wonder, as many video-game characters do, whether God forces me to Continue to punish me for my sins," Snake said. "After all, I've deserted the American military, killed hundreds of guards, and betrayed my would-be lover, Meryl Silverburgh, by submitting to torture in the alternate ending to the first installment of 'Metal Gear Solid.' But sometimes, like when I suicidally attack dozens of armed guards with only my bare hands, it seems that God is putting me through hell merely to amuse Himself. It just doesn't make sense."

According to Rev. Paul Flessing of Yale University's Divinity School, Snake's theosophical quandary is far from uncommon.

"We all wrestle with the Big Questions about the will of God and one's place in Creation," Flessing said. "But the important thing is to have faith and try to find meaning in one's life�or lives, as the case may be. We must remember the trials of Job, whose faith God continually tested. It seems Snake is going through something very much like that, with this constant pattern of 'Continues.' The purpose will become clear to him in the end."

Sidling along a companionway toward the ship's lounge, Snake considered his ultimate fate.

"What awaits me at the end of my lives' journeys?" Snake asked. "Is there a Paradise on the other side? Or will it all end in a full-motion video sequence that hints at a forthcoming sequel?"

The hallway then filled with nerve gas, fatally asphyxiating Snake.

God, also known as Orangeburg 11-year-old Brandon MacElwee, offered no comment on His greater plan for Snake, saying He was "too busy trying to get to the part with the knife-throwing Russian girl."

He's Feelin' It

---

Yeah, I'm feelin' it. Feelin' the pain of my parents. Feedin me this baby food shizaz. Shillitzitle. I could sure use a hamburger right now.
Yeah, so what, I don't have any teeth. I'll rip the piece to shreds and then shove it in my gummy mouth. I'm so hungry...I could eat you right now.
That's right. Back away. Who knows how long I can hold off my hunger. Man...that cat over there looks might tasty...I wonder...if I could nibble on the tail...

Sup Guys. Mash Potatoes Please

---

Adams and Scarf, Livin' it Up

---

Movie Time not the Best Time

---

A Sample of the Colonel's Interesting Quotes

-...Infiltrate... ...the enemy fortress... ...Outer Heaven!
...Destroy... ...the final weapon... ...Metal Gear!
-President Baker should be somewhere to the south of where you blasted through the wall.
-Hurry and save him before the terrorists discover his code.
-You got a PSG-1? You can use that against Sniper Wolf. Hurry up and save Meryl!
-Your mission is to infiltrate the fortress Galuade,
rescue the hostages and neutralize Metal Gear before its assembly is complete.
-Variety Level 13
Rescue Meryl, the "Return of Genola."
-Kawanishi-Noseguchi, Kinunobebashi, Takiyama, Uguisunomori,
Tsuzumigataki, Tada, Hirano, Ichinotorii, Uneno, Yamashita, Sasabe, Kofudai, Tokiwadai, Myoukenguchi.
-I noticed this a while back, but you have far too many Game Overs.
-Sorry to be blunt, but you really stink at this game.
-Honestly, though, you have played the game for a long time.

-Don't you have anything else to do with your time?
-You seem to get a real thrill out of slaughtering the enemy. Are you frustrated about something?
-I hear it's amazing when the famous purple stuffed worm in flap-jaw space with the tuning fork does a raw blink on Hara-kiri Rock. I need scissors! 61!
-I was a North American Fall Webworm in my past life. Those were the good old days...-
What were you in your former life?
-Even my patience has its limits. I just can't leave this thing up to you any longer. I'll do the fighting! You can just go home!
-Actually, I am in really bad shape financially.
I pay money to my ex-wife as part of our divorce settlement, among other bills...
-I just had no choice but to make you pay for lunch the other day. I'm really sorry.
-Actually, there is something I have been meaning to tell you but I just couldn't...
I think you should know, though.On Saturday morning last week I saw a guy leaving Rosemary's room...
How should I put it, it was like they were ... "intimate."
I'm sorry. Sorry to bring this up during the mission, but...
-An Anemone or Clematis plant's juice can cause a rash. When pruning them it's a good idea to wear gloves.

Crazy...seems like they are talking directly to the gamer...

Colonel: Raiden, turn the game console off right now!
Raiden: What did you say?
Colonel: The mission is a failure! Cut the power right now!
Raiden: What's wrong with you?
Rose: Don't worry, it's a game! It's a game just like usual.
You'll ruin your eyes playing so close to the TV.
Raiden: What are you talking about!?
Colonel: Raiden, something happened to me last Thursday when I was driving home.
I had a couple of miles to go -- I looked up and saw a glowing orange object in the sky, to the east!
It was moving very irregularly... Suddenly, there was intense light all around me --
-- and when I came to, I was home.
What do you think happened to me...?
Fine, forget it...

"Life isn't just about passing on your genes.
We can leave behind much more than just DNA.
Through speech, music, literature and movies...
what we've seen, heard, felt
...anger, joy and sorrow...
these are the things I will pass on.

That's what I live for.
We need to pass the torch,
and let our children read our messy and sad history by its light.
We have all the magic of the digital age to do that with.


The human race will probably come to an end some time,
and new species may rule over this planet.
Earth may not be forever,
but we still have the responsibility to leave what traces of life we can.


Building the future and keeping the past alive are one and the same thing."
Solid Snake-- Metal Gear Solid 2

I'm in. Sideways.

Warning to Nurse: If you use that word, you'll probably get a serious beatdown. You are understating and being facetious.